I Feel Funny

I Feel Funny

Hey Google set timer for 2 minutes. 

Okay here’s what I’m grateful for today. 

I feel funny. I have felt funny for over two weeks now so I’ve decided that feeling my funny is the way to get over feeling funny. 

Because some feeling funny isn’t funny. 

I love funny memes and I’m thankful for those and my cat who’s playing with one of his balls which is really funny because he doesn’t have any balls. 

I’m thankful for Lou Rawls that rhymes with balls who knew! 

Thankful for Facebook friends 

and family 

and friends who don’t let friends shop at chain stores 

and memes 

did I mention memes? 

And funny videos 

and how to engage with the world when you’re stuck in your apartment because you can’t go outside.

That sounded whiny. 

I didn’t mean to sound whiny I meant to sound grateful cuz that’s what I am. 

I’m grateful for the fact that my voice is coming back because that’s important. 

Although I’ve said to many people many times I’d happily Go mute if I could communicate with the gif. 

My daughter would laugh at that 

She said “Mom, you say on the line, when it’s online.” 

It’s okay if she laughs because she thinks I’m funny 

and if she thinks I’m funny then she’s laughing

and I like it when my daughter laughs. 

It makes me happy. 

And happy is what it’s all about. 

It took me more than 20 minutes to learn that one. 

So it’s tuesday. 

And I do feel funny. 

Steve Martin said that when he put baloney in his shoes, it made him feel funny. 

I’m not going to do that I don’t like shoes cuz I live at the beach 

but you can put bologna in your shoes today if you want to. 

It’s still not over these two minutes isn’t this great? 

I’m still talking and thinking about what I’m grateful for and one of them is an open window and an eye that can see through it 

and the air that I can feel 

and the limbs that work 

and the cancer I don’t have 

and that is time but just for these two minutes 

so happy Tuesday everybody.

What I Like about Monday 12-5-2022

What I Like about Monday 12-5-2022

Hey Google set timer for 2 minutes. 

What do I like about Monday? 

Here’s what I like about Monday. 

Monday at my house is my day.

The rest of them are too just between you and me. 

But on this Monday, I have a plan 

and my plan is full of fun 

and full of Art 

and full of life 

and full of salt water 

and sand and sunshine 

and blue skies and 70° days 

and people and music and laughter and microphones 

and entertaining and health and good food 

and painted denim and pretty pictures 

and so many things I could go on and on but you know I’ve only got 2 minutes so I’ll just say this. 

Monday doesn’t have to be a grindstone return for you. 

Monday can be a kick-ass and take names day. 

I know this because last night when I went to bed I felt very not well after 10 days of some of that 

and when I woke up feeling a little bit better than that 

my attitude got shifted by me into one of solution 

and happiness 

and what brings me joy 

and what do I have the energy for today 

and all of those categories. 

So I began my day with a dance 

and a plan for the month 

and goals 

and coffee and biscuits 

and a full spectrum lamp in my face 

and my cat 

and my feet and the door open and the breeze over the bay at my ear 

and that’s time but not forever just for now so go enjoy the hell out of your Monday. Love you!

Hey Google, set timer for 2 minutes-gratitude rant

Hey Google, set timer for 2 minutes-gratitude rant

ready, set go 

It’s Saturday  

and I woke up  

and my cat is right next to me, draped across my lamp base  

and I got to dance with him today  

and I can hear the birds outside my door  

and the music of Pat Metheny in the background  

and I have breakfast  

and coffee  

and groceries on the way  

and pet groceries on the way too  

and I get to pace myself to keep feeling better  

my voice is coming back  

and I never left  

and I get to paint my clothes today  

and love my life today  

and go to the Gulf of Mexico today  

and have a hot date with me today to watch Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris  

and that’s my time but only for these two minutes.  

Go out and make your Saturday count.  

This is the only today you have after all. Love you and talk to you later. 

We Need a Day

We Need a Day

My brother, Jim Bunn, is a decorated journalist. At last count, he holds 6 Emmys and a Peabody Award to his credit. 

And on December 1st  1988, he co-founded World AIDS day, bringing annual global focus to the still present disease and honoring those who have been lost to it. 

December 1st was his idea because he knew that between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it would be a slow news cycle, making the story less likely to be buried on the back page.

In 1988, Jim was working at KPIX in San Francisco where he covered the AIDS pandemic. 

His passionate work there drew the attention of the World Health Organization, compelling them to borrow him from his TV station for a two-year assignment to the WHO headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. 

This is the story and I could not be prouder. Love you Jimmy.

https://www.cbsnews.com/sanfrancisco/video/roots-of-world-aids-day-trace-back-to-bay-area-kpix-reporter/

Hey Mr. DJ, Hope is On the Way 

Hey Mr. DJ, Hope is On the Way 

They don’t report the news anymore. But I’ve got news for you. If the creatives could step in and take over at CNN and make it the Creative News Network, headlines would be way different.  “This just in – Creatives Meetup at SoWal House, Rosemary Beach, Florida. Reports show a massive exchange of laughter, love, listening and ideas. Some were seen to be dancing. Sources say they are plotting a creative renaissance, intent on healing planet Earth. News at 11.” 

Last night, I got to be part of a creatives Meetup at SoWal House, a studio and events venue for creatives and entrepreneurs, in Rosemary Beach, Florida.  As I went into the function, I said to the universe “Thanks in advance for whatever is about to happen,” and “Please help me not to try to make myself feel like I’m a rung above in order to feel as good as.  Please help me to not have a mindset of condescension about the fact that the meeting takes place in a very affluent resort.” I have a history of feeling less than and this was an old tool I used, to tell myself I was a little better than, when I felt less than, trying to even it out, I guess.  But the key word there is history. 

I’m so glad I asked for all of that before I walked in because my connection to all of the people there was so beautiful. I love young people. They come in all ages. But the ones with more time on the clock are important. 

 I got to be in the company of fellow artists, writers, poets and mind-blowing photographers. Fashion designers, motivational speakers, videographers and marketers. A think tank with rhythm, a DJ and tacos too. I could not hold still. So, I didn’t. Wherever I was standing in the room, if the music moved me, I moved.  These people are the next wave. The hope of things to come. 

It’s such a powerful energy to have all of that in one room. Palpable. I get high as a kite when I’m around fellow creators because people that make art and use their words and gifts and ideas and imaginations heal the planet.  Someone said to me, “I’ll have what she’s having”, and I laughed to myself because the strongest thing in my system was dark chocolate, coffee and my tenacious spirit. 

Alexander Graham Bell, Vân Gogh, Mozart (Ford-the car, not the treatment center), Christopher Columbus the Wright Brothers, the Bumblebee – are all examples of things being done that either were not supposed to be possible or had not been done before. And all of it-has done nothing but enrich the lives of those who came long since the passing of those creatives.  

I am living a personal renaissance. One that I feel spilling onto others who are the least bit receptive. I am not even trying. In fact, I am losing my voice, but my spirit talked over that last night, straining to be heard, as if on a mission. And while I had a pretty hearty cough once I settled in for sleep, it was worth it. I have been silent long enough.  

I got in my car to drive home and the part of me that’s so afraid of the part of me that’s reaching for more tried to throttle me all the way home in the car. “You were just trying to get attention from people. You were too much of a spectacle…” all these horrible things. And I replied, “You just want to stay small.  Because it is what you know. And that bothers you when I don’t, but that is not the life I am meant to have.”   

Thank you, Dave King, for your vision and for holding space for what is bound to be a part of such great creating and healing. I look forward to what lies ahead!  

Waking Up Next to Joy

Waking Up Next to Joy

Every morning I wake up to Joy. All I have to do is roll over and look at the wall and there she is. She hung on the wall in front of me, mesmerizing me, when I hung out at Stuff Dreams Are made of in Tulsa. My friend, and fellow mermaid lover, Kris Newlin is her creator and upon my exit plan to escape landlocked status for life on the Gulf of Mexico, she gave Joy to me.  

I have had Joy for over two years, and only just decided that I think she is a mermaid, or a selkie.  

There is a legend in the UK about the Selkie people, mythological creatures also known as seal people, sea people or mermaids. The symbol of a calm and bountiful temperament, some say selkies often appear to save the lives of children and fishermen who have fallen into the sea.  

One tale tells of a fisherman who finds a female selkie’s seal skin on the beach, and hiding it from her, compels her to be his wife. But the wife will spend her time in captivity longing for the sea, her true home, and will often be seen gazing longingly at the ocean.  

I relate to both. As a volunteer on the beach for two seasons one of my tasks was to blow a whistle so that I could try and keep people from being in the water when it was closed due to dangerous currents. I never wanted to be landlocked after falling in love with the sea on the beaches of New York as a little girl. But I chose landlocked life anyway, being married for 24 years, with no salt water anywhere nearby, always longing for the sea. 

 Everything about Joy moves me. That look on her face says safe and serene to me. Like she knows it is all going to be ok, or better, that it already is, despite the weight of her wings, rusty from the salt water. Her long hair, swirling. The light of the moon or the sun, don’t know which, doesn’t matter much. Because it’s a light source backing her up. 

Her colors are my palette of choice when I paint. Something about sapphire blue and turquoise and periwinkle, when combined, that makes my heart happy.  

The bird near her brain. That hits home. I have had a bird in my brain most of my life. People in white coats with lots of letters after their name concur. My favorite label is the most recent. “Lucinda, you have a Rich Cerebral Universe.” There. That settles it. I shall call my bird Rich. 

And that little bit of barbed wire just above the head? I have felt like I have barbed wire in my brain. And that hurts. A lot. 

I love Joy. She can swim AND she has wings. What a great metaphor for my life today and my wish for yours as well.  

The Sound Of 

The Sound Of 

It’s 4:53 in the morning. The only sound I hear is a train whistle. Must be close. I can practically feel the tracks under the weight of the freight.  I like it.  It’s a comfort sound, reminding me of the part of my childhood spent living  in Southern Illinois.  

I can feel it coming. The sound and vibration drawing me in like a guided meditation. 

Another childhood is asleep on the couch in the next room. My daughter Abby. Now a young adult at 25, living her life without training wheels. Do you know how hard it is to want to run alongside and keep her safe when that part of my job is over? 

I just spent the week of Thanksgiving in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where Abby and I both grew up. She now lives two hours from there, so before I return to my beautiful life in Florida, I got to spend two days with just her. All to myself. Merry Christmas to me early. 

The plan included good food, movies and rest for two people feeling under the weather. Just as well, because the weather was 40 degrees and rainy. We were right where we were supposed to be. Roasted chicken with sauteed spinach and garlic were on the menu next to spaghetti and Italian sausage and made from scratch marinara sauce ala Abby. “I like the dressing you made.” A big compliment from my offspring who once had a chef coat for watching Iron Chef, bakes Bon Appetit cakes from scratch and can make a mean standing prime rib. Previously accurate comments included, “mom, they make a thing called salt. Have you heard of it?” 

The first movie up in the two day get well and be together sleepover was a ride in a time machine back 20 years. It opens with a breathtaking aerial view of the Austrian Alps. “That’s incredible footage. And that was before there were drones,” I said.  “Probably filmed by some guy hanging out of a helicopter,” Abby said. Those hills were definitely alive. 

The Sound of Music. In this beautiful film made over sixty years ago, there is a timeless message of anything is possible if you only believe in yourself, live your dreams and, against all odds, love always wins.  

I was five years old when the movie was released. About the same age as Abby when she first saw it and when I started singing the song Edelweiss from the movie to her at bedtime. My house when I was little was built off the sound of the music my father and Abby’s grandfather made with his golden voice.  

When Abby was a teenager, she said, “When I turn 18, I want us to get tattoos together. I want to write ‘forever’ in my writing for yours and I want you to write ‘bloom and grow’ for mine.” I never thought music from my voice could ever matter enough to another person that they would want a permanent message to remind them of their experience around that. I was deeply moved by her request. 

The only tattoos I had at that point were four blue dots marking me as a target for radiation treatment. On a springtime visit to Oklahoma from Florida in 2021, we did it. Abby has “bloom and grow” in my cursive hand, across her collarbone. And, as you can see, I have “forever”, printed by her, on my wrist. I chose her printing over cursive because I wanted the youngest, most innocent version of her with me – forever.  

I just had a vision of one of those time lapse film images of a rose bloom opening, on a loop.  

Bloom and Grow Forever. I think it can be true for everyone. That’s what I see happening in me and hope for Abby to see in herself, too.  

Tulsa Time Change

Tulsa Time Change

(Actual lyric to Tulsa Time)

“When I left Oklahoma, driving in a Pontiac, just about to lose my mind, I was going to Arizona maybe on to California where people all live so fine.”

(My rewrite of said lyric)

“When I left Oklahoma, driving in a moving truck just about to find my mind, I was going through Alabama gonna land in Destin, Florida where I’m loving living life so fine.”

Funny thing- I sing Tulsa Time in Florida at a beachside cafe.

I got to spend Thanksgiving week in Tulsa,Oklahoma, where I got to visit friends new and old.

I got to see my best friend from the ninth grade, Rhonda Davis.

I got to eat amazing food and drink lots of coffee with great company.

I got puppy love round the clock.

I got to dance, oh man, what a band, at Maggie’s Music Box, every other Tuesday night!

I got to read at The Gypsy Coffee House on open mic night.

I got to make new friends with souls that have known mine for eons.

I got to make art with my community at Stuff Dreams are Made of, celebrating four years of so much that words can’t describe it.

And I met Joy there! AND there was a woman named Joy there!

And today, I get to go to Oklahoma City and spend two days with my daughter before I return home to my beautiful life at the beach.

I love my life. I love my friends. And don’t you know, I love my daughter. And I cannot wait to see what the Universe has in store for me today and forever more.

Keep looking forward, keep looking up.

And for ALL THESE THINGS, I am grateful. INFINITY.

About Giving Thanks When All You Feel is Pain

About Giving Thanks When All You Feel is Pain

(Unrelated photos are of squirrel feeding gnome. (“Gnome, he’s my uncle!”-look up Gnome joke to get this))

This holiday season can be a painful one. And if it is that for you today, keep reading.

Family. History. Unhealed. These are loaded words at this time of year for me. They cover the immediate family I came from, the one I created in my marriage, and all of my ancestors, too. 

That’s a lot of mouths to feed the bird to.

There is more focus on blood family at the holiday, so it makes sense that if that is a sore spot, a magnifying glass only makes it more so.

I only know the unhealed parts when they rear their heads. And they did last night. And I was stunned. And I took action. And I got relief.

In the past, those unhealed parts looked like a bag of bricks and instead of gingerly taking one out at a time to throw it in the river and lighten my load, I took the whole bag, tied it to my ankle and thought about jumping in the river. For 25 years.

Sometimes, the pain I feel doesn’t even belong to me. It is the anguish my great Aunt Beulah felt over the loss of her 8 year old son, Richard. That same grief my mother carried because she was like his sister, also 8 when he died. I never saw that released. I simply saw it in my mother’s bag of bricks. And picked it up to put in my bag. Along with her unhealed brick of my father’s death at 42. Right next to my brick of losing my father at age 7.

These people are all gone, but their unhealed parts still remain. Begging to be healed.

I knew 24 Turkey days in my marriage. And this marks number 7 since my new life began. 

Since my divorce, each holiday, at first, was just less shitty than the one before.  And somewhere along the line, that changed.

Don’t know why or how, doesn’t matter much to me. Point is, it got better. Maybe because I started to create a new life. Likely so. In fact, I got my happy back. Took a lot of work and still does, if I am completely honest. 

This time of year, with the increase in darkness in each day, is one of my challenges in the mental health olympics. The beach helps, but dark is dark.

I wish you all a season of healing, joy, release and laughter. 

Look to the light. Keep looking forward. Keep looking up. 

More will be revealed. 

The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train. 

And if all else fails, Black Friday is tomorrow, Cyber Monday is around the corner, and Amazon is right at your fingertips!

Make new Friends, keep The old, One Is Silver, the Other Gold. -song by someone other than me.

Make new Friends, keep The old, One Is Silver, the Other Gold. -song by someone other than me.

Hey Google, set timer for two minutes. (Gratitude Rant-ready, set, go.)

“Make New Friends, and Keep the Old, One is Silver and the Other’s Gold.”-song by somebody other than me.

Well for starters it’s Sunday and I woke up. 

That’s a good thing. 

And then there’s these dogs surrounding me oh my God they’re so stinking cute 

and then there’s their mom who just put whipped cream in a bowl for the cat it’s putting Marlin Perkins’ on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom shame. 

Anyway I get to meet a friend today.

I get to go outside today. 

I get to say these things to you today

 and for all of it I’m grateful. 

I’m grateful that when I went to sleep around 9:00 I didn’t wake up again until 6:30 and I slept so hard it was like I woke up in my own bed and that never happens. 

I’m grateful for yesterday 

yesterday what a treat I was surrounded by people 

From all throughout my history 

from 30 years to 4 years to 2 weeks old -silver and gold. Precious. 

A gift by Linda thank you for that 

and so much more in the way of gifts that are intangible yet bigger than life. 

Being in that creative space around those people creating 

there’s nothing like it 

it’s better than an opium den or a crack house I guess I don’t know I haven’t ever been to each but I can use my imagination there are some things I have done that can give me an idea. 

I digress. 

Happy Sunday everybody 

I don’t know how much time I have left but I know I have more than the rest of this 2 minutes 

or at least I assume so and with that I plan to milk this s*** out of that time for the rest of it as long as I’m up right and breathing in this go round 

I wish you all the best Sunday as you move forward 

I’m going to look at the sunlight and I know it’s where you are too if it’s behind a cloud peel it apart with your fingers that’s time 

got to go for now 

love you all bye