In the year 2050, I became this meme on Spacebook.  Here’s why.

Age 0. I was born.

Age 7. My dad died. His heart stopped. My heart broke. My family broke.

Age 8-17. Survival mode training 101, Part 1. 

Just add tequila.

Age 18-25. Survival mode training 101, Part 2. 

Had husband. Had miscarriage. Had lots of tequila.

Age 25-41. Got rid of tequila. Got new husband.

I got a  starter survival toolbox.  Some items included: 1-family of choice, 1-Blue Book, 1-Higher Power.

Read some tools, practiced some tools, lost some tools, misused some tools, lacked some tools.

Age 42-55. Put main toolbox in the garage. Got some tools out on occasion. Usually between kid’s events, bouts with cancer, mother’s funeral and Modern Family episodes.

Added second toolbox. Included brightly colored paint, some joy, furniture, brushes. Kept this one in the house.

Age 55. Life and my immediate family, as I knew it for 26 years, blew up all over the living room. 

Main toolbox found, under the rubble. Second toolbox proved to be a lifesaver.

Age 56-60. Did not die. Learned how to live. Took a minute. Got out the main toolbox. Added more books, more family of choice. Upgraded Higher Power. Added the Stuff that Dreams Are Made Of to my second toolbox. Used frequently.

Age 60-62. Got a wake-up call that I am gonna die. Don’t know how long I have. Estimate just under 30 years.

Found open door to a road less traveled. Walked through the door. Drove down the road. Led me to the beach. Brought both toolboxes. Put in the front seat for safety, like eggs and bread.

The main toolbox got upgrade. New Red Book added. New family adopted. Higher Power got another upgrade.  

Realized Higher Power has their shit together. And I am not far behind.

(Coming up)

Age 62-64 Continued using toolboxes. Got rid of tools that no longer worked. Upgraded to new and improved tools as more was revealed. Leaned into love. Burned fear in effigy. Surprised myself.

Age 64-90 Continued waking up with direct access to salt water and sunshine. Adapted toolbox and lifestyle to fit each other. Continued to upgrade and maintain Higher Power connection. Like electricity. Paying the bill by fully expressing my gifts and sharing. Wrote one kickass book. Or twelve. Won award for most fun grandmother in the history of time. Lost award for most humble grandmother of all time.

Let myself be love. 

Let myself be loved. 

Let myself be.